Healing the Layers

The root cause of most sexual intimacy issues and dysfunction is trauma, followed by negative conditioning and mental programming. Everyone’s ears perk up at the mention of sex or sex advice, yet when it comes time to talk about trauma or doing inner healing, that’s typically where people stop listening. They want to find that magick piece of advice or sex tip that’s going to help their relationships, yet they run from doing the shadow work on themselves. Everyone wants to find a healthy, drama free, unconditionally loving partner, but first they have to be those things which they want to attract. If all you are looking for is sex advice, you’re simply seeking a bandage rather than long term results. Healing is painful, but in the process of doing so, you only hurt yourself temporarily. Not healing your layers keeps you stuck in pain forever, unable to have a healthy, fulfilled life and relationships, and it also hurts all those that you love. Unhealed trauma doesn’t just affect you. It affects every relationship you have in life starting with yourself, and continues with your children and grandchildren. Personal trauma becomes generational trauma, which leads to societal trauma of the collective. I have written four books, the first of which will be released soon. Books one through three deal with the layers of Self that we must heal in order to Overcome the Roadblocks to Sacred Intimacy. Book four is a collection of poetry.

Mental & Emotional Layers:

These layers are typically where most healing needs to begin in order for us to successfully heal. I group them together because they both deal with the mind, but the distinction is that the emotional layer deals mostly with how we react or respond to the world, whereas the mental layer is where all our programmed fears, negative patterns, and trauma loops reside. The mind is the Command Center of the body. It’s extremely difficult to heal anything in your physical body until you do the work in these two layers. Most people have a mind that has been conditioned by trauma, which can include abuse, neglect, abandonment, religious and cultural shame, and a lack of nurturing and emotional support and guidance. Childhood trauma is the dirty little secret that most people stuff away and try to pretend never happened, or that it was “No big deal”.

In my first upcoming book, Sexual Trauma: Suppression of the True Self, I share my personal story of sexual trauma in childhood which paved the way to poor boundaries and re-traumas later in life. I show how this unhealed layer of trauma can alter the course of a child’s life, affect every relationship they have, and create the False Self Protector Masculine. Once you take back control of your mind, you take back the control of all your other layers. We are not just human. Our body is human. Our soul is Divine. 

Sacred Sexual & Spiritual Layers:

At our core, we all just want to love and be loved. It’s our fears, traumas, programming, and conditioning that determine how we go about trying to give and get that love. It’s because of those things that many people in our society have been conditioned to fear love, and many don’t even realize that they're self sabotaging behavior in relationships is a result of that subconscious fear. Personally, for me, these two layers tie in to each other, which may not be the case for everyone. My aim is not to just give people sex advice. These layers go hand in hand because our sexuality is part of our divinity. The first step to achieving deeper levels of sexual intimacy is to first heal your layers. The second step is to take the time to cultivate emotional intimacy and a heart and soul connection with someone before having sex with them. Not doing so quite often leads to unplanned pregnancies, and children that get caught in the middle of toxic parents: two unhealed people who are too absorbed in their own pain and trauma to give their all to the most important job on the planet. Helping people heal in order to have healthy relationships isn’t the main plot of the work I do. It’s the subplot. The main plot is to help create a better world full of generation after generation of kids that are trauma free, healthy, loved, supported, and nurtured, so that they can help evolve humanity forward. Healthy people have healthy relationships. People that have healthy relationships raise healthy kids. Healthy kids go on to continue that positive cycle. This is how we end personal, generational, and societal trauma. It starts with each of us first healing ourselves. The relationship you have to yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have in your life.

In my second book, Pussy Control for Love Addicts, that’s due out in early summer, I aim to bring people back to their hearts, to connect with their inner Love Addict, and to show that Sacred Intimacy goes way beyond just intercourse. The heart is the bridge to controlling your mind.

Pussy Control for Love Addicts is about a woman’s ability to love fiercely with all that she has, yet still honor herself and require that a man respect her for all that she is.

Physical Layer:

Do you have trouble with weight loss, sexual arousal and performance, trust issues, digestive issues, addictions, body dysmorphia, or stress and back pain? Those things are related to your lower three chakras, or energy centers. These three centers represent the physical body and our human nature. We may lose weight, get healthy, have less stress for a while, kick an addiction, or discover some great sex tricks to keep a relationship going for a little longer, but unless we have done the work in those previous layers, there’s a high probability that we will revert back to unhealthy ways. The fear brain keeps people stuck in their lower three chakras, constantly in survival mode, and using addictions to fill their voids. When we have thoroughly healed all our layers, built our energy through proper nutrition, exercise, breath work and meditation, all of our chakras are operating properly, we are manifesting from the heart connected to God and our directed Will, this is when Heaven meets Earth within us! This is when our Divine self has full control over our Human self, and we are fully in alignment with and connected to our Higher Self and the source energy of God. This is our true Divinity. 

In my third book, NOLA Born: A Culture of Life & Death, which will also be out in early summer, I focus on the physical layer of healing and my personal challenges with doing so as someone that grew up in the food culture of New Orleans. Most people eat to live, but in New Orleans, we live to eat!