Overcoming the Roadblocks to Sacred Intimacy

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Emotional trauma, sexual trauma, years of unhealthy conditioning and mental programming, addictions, low self worth, and poor body image can effect the way we show up in relationships and in the world. They can manifest in the mind, body, soul, and life of a person through:

  • Anger Issues

  • Depression

  • Promiscuity

  • Physical pain

  • Hypersexuality

  • Hyposexuality

  • Energy Imbalace

  • Spiritual Suffering

  • Eating Disorders

  • Fear, Shame, & Guilt

  • Fear of Intimacy

  • Fear of Abandonment

  • Fear of Rejection

  • Fear of Touch or Sex

  • Inability to Orgasm

  • Performance Anxiety

  • Premature Ejaculation

  • Erectile Dysfunction

  • Sexual Narcissism

  • Self Sabotage

  • Mental and Emotional Pain

  • Social Anxiety Disorder

  • Poor Communication Skills

  • Mother/Father Wounds

  • Mother Enmeshment

  • Excessive Shadow Behavior

  • Lack of Self Trust & Trust of Others

  • Runner/Chaser Relationship Dynamics

  • Procrastinator/Perfectionist Syndrome

  • Bipolar, Depression, OCD, Self Mutilation (cutting)

  • Poor Boundaries or Excessivly Rigid Boundaries (Social Isolation)

  • Imbalance of Masculine/Feminine Energy Within Self & Relationship Dynamics

  • Addictions to things such as, but not limited to, pornography, alcohol, drugs, smoking, gambling, food, sex, excessive exercise, work, and body modification. Two other addictions that go unnoticed in our society are addictions to fear and pain. Sadly, many people are so addicted to their suffering and fear that they wouldn’t know who they are without those things. This is why many fight against actually doing the inner work and healing from their pain. To heal would feel like a loss of identity, and in a sense when we heal, we do lose a part of ourselves. We lose the False Self that was created by trauma and the fear programs of the world.

I must add my disclaimer once again here as well.

I am an author, licensed bodyworker, life coach, NLP practitioner, and EFT & TFT Tapping practitioner.

Disclaimer:

***I am not a licensed mental health professional or doctor. I’ve been an avid student and reader of psychology, and I spent three years as a psychology major in college, but I never finished my degree in that field. I hold no degrees or licenses in medicine, psychology or psychiatry. I cannot prescribe medication or give medical advice. Nothing on this website, in my books, videos, or in my coaching programs is meant to treat, cure, diagnose, or replace any medical or mental health treatment you are undergoing. I am here as a guide to provide you with the tools to help steer you back to your True self. I’m simply a guiding voice of wisdom to inspire you begin your own healing journey and step out of your pain and into your purpose and power, and to help put you on the path to achieving greater intimacy and connection in your relationships.

 

-If you wish to find a divine partner that is in alignment with you and your values, you yourself must first be in alignment with you and your values.

-True intimacy happens in the darkness, not in the light.

-There will always be triggers in life for those that have been through trauma. How you deal with those triggers is what either makes you a victim or a survivor.

-Once you have defeated the enemy within, all enemies without become insignificant. 

-Healing your own layers of Self is the first step to healing the world. You are the change you seek.

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Fill Your Voids With Love & Connection

Trauma & Intimacy coaching, healing our trauma layers, mirroring, massage, writing therapy, music therapy, balance, integration, and shadow work are the keys to self healing, which in turn leads to healthy relationships. When we start to peel back the layers and look at the deeper roots of addiction, we most often find that they are not genetic, and they are not about willpower. They are about a lack of connection to self, others, God, nature, passion, and purpose. Addictions are a way to fill a void, keep ourselves safe, and push others away before they have a chance to hurt us. I can speak from the personal experience of my own past trauma and shadow work that revisiting past trauma is never easy. We will undoubtedly uncover a lot of pain, but that is where the healing happens. That is where you burn and then rise into the person you were meant to be. We must dwell in the darkness for some time in order to know and appreciate the light. 

Show me your pain, and I will show you your gold.

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The seven deadly sins don’t lead us to a fiery pit of hell. They keep us stuck living in our own personally created hell until we heal and start making better, healthier choices. 

Are You Ready to Face Your Trauma Monster? How deep into your own personally created Hell are you willing to dig in order to save your True Self? Imagine your True Self as a little boy or little girl that’s trapped in a scary place surrounded by monsters. Are you willing to fight and kill those monsters to save him/her? These monsters, most of us know them quite well. Fear, Anger, Self Loathing, Unworthiness, Disconnection, Addiction, Hate, Envy, Self Doubt, Mistrust, and the biggest, scariest, most hideous monster of all, Trauma! The Trauma Monster is the one that no one really wants to ever face. We’ll initially make friends with all the other monsters, and then when they get too rowdy and out of control, we blame them for the hell we are living in. The reality though is that until we face the Trauma Monster and acknowledge it as the one that gave birth to all the other monsters, we can’t ever truly defeat any of them. What’s the most common theme in all vampire films and books? If you can find and kill the first vampire that created all the others then the curse will be broken. Either all the baby vamps die off, or they go back to being human. Defeat your Trauma Monster to bring you back to your True Self.

 
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Some people wear masks to hide who they really are, while others wear them to be able to comfortably and safely reveal the truths of their soul.

Because of trauma, we so often don’t allow others to get close enough to fall in love with our deeper layers. We draw them in with the physical and the outer, superficial layers, but as soon as they start to get too close, or we feel too desired, we pull away and can say “See! I knew it! They only want the physical. They’re just like everyone else and only want sex. They don’t want to get to know the real me, my heart, soul and deeper layers.” We want to be valued for our intrinsic worth, yet we lead with the extrinsic, and then we wonder why that’s all others seem to want from us.

Everything we want in life requires us to swim through our fears to get there, yet most people hug the safety of the shoreline dreaming of what it would feel like to dive into the depths of Love and connection. Take the next step, and dive into the depths of your pain!

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The reality is that a person can only meet you at the depths that you’re willing and brave enough to be met at. So, if you feel that you are not being met at the depths that you desire it’s because you yourself are not willing to go for a swim there. Yes, there are sharks there. You may get eaten, or it just might be the best part of this ride we call life. We all have our trauma monsters. We can let them drown us in our own lonely depths, or we can heal our layers and learn to swim with the tides until we make it to the Heart of the ocean. A place of unfathomable depths. The home of true love, emotional and physical intimacy, bliss, surrender, serenity, and connection to Self, Lover, and God.